So, I’m back from a week long trip to New York City, which was amazing, but not for the reasons I expected. My aim before the trip was to game as much as possible, take massive action in the most anonymous city on the planet, but it actually turned out to be more of a self reflective ‘soul search’, which proved to be quite fruitful. I had a couple of long, honest conversations with Miss Oneitis, and got some honest feedback from her, which has given me a new perspective on myself. Here’s what I’ve learned –
- Be more vulnerable – I know this is going against the advice of most of the daygame ‘masters’, but I really couldn’t give a fuck. Being open and honest with a girl about my emotions, flaws, and what I want from her is something I’ve struggled with, but is the single most important way to build a unique connection and intimacy with her. Obviously it’s best not to overdo it, but don’t be the emotionless, stoic badboy – That’s a lonely path in the long run, and you are missing out on so much.
- Be Present – Be switched on, communicate authentically, have a genuine interest in the girl. I’m at the point now where the London daygame model has become so repetitive – I’m using it as a very very loose structure and I’m starting to be more spontaneous and putting my own individual stamp on things, which is what everyone should be doing after a couple of years in game.
- I need a creative pursuit – I’ve discovered the joys of photography through the excellent Goldmund Unleashed and his camera game book , and its given me a new lease of life, the same feeling i had years ago when i first picked up a guitar. It’s a great way to engage with the world and girls love it. I’m going to keep learning and I think it’s something I’d love to do professionally in the future. Most girls love creative guys, it sets you apart from the chode masses and gives you a depth of character that they can’t resist.
- Play to your strengths – Like most people who get into pickup, I’m naturally introverted. I used to hate this about myself, and would try to ‘force’ myself to be an extrovert. This never works, a girl will always find out who you really are. Instead, look at the positive sides of your personality. If you are introverted, accentuate your mystery, intrigue and independence. Don’t waste your time trying be someone your aren’t, people see straight through it.
- Enjoy your fucking life – Things could be so much worse. You could have been born into a lifetime of poverty in Ethiopia. you could have born with incurable blindness. You don’t live in medieval London or ISIS controlled Raqqa. We live in an incredible time. I have my own apartment in a clean western city, I have a job, I can buy a flight to anywhere in the world whenever I please. I have access to all the food I could ever possibly want. I can go out and talk to a beautiful girl within ten minutes of leaving my flat. LIFE IS GOOD!